NB: The text and voiceover are not the same as the video.
I still remember the moment I sat at the piano bench and watched my teacher’s face change. His disappointment wasn’t just in my playing—it felt like it was in me. I’d hit a wrong note, sure. But what landed wasn’t a musical correction. It was a pen thrown at the side of my face. And full-bodied shame.
It wasn’t “You played that measure incorrectly.”
It was: There’s something wrong with you.
And for a sensitive, high-achieving teen? That moment lodges deep.
The Wound Beneath the Reaction
In this month’s group coaching session, I shared a story from my own life—not from a place of having it all figured out, but from the real and ongoing process of unpacking old stories.
Being told that you're wrong—not that you did something wrong, but that you are wrong—can be internalized very deeply by sensitive children. It’s not just about behavior; it becomes identity. And once it’s wired in, it can follow us everywhere.
As adults, especially those of us who are intuitive, creative, or deeply empathetic, that old wound gets activated in subtle and not-so-subtle ways:
A coworker’s critical tone.
A partner’s frustration.
A missed deadline or mistake.
We’re not just reacting to the moment—we’re reacting to the story we learned a long time ago. That if we’re wrong, we’re unsafe. That mistakes mean rejection. That imperfection equals unworthiness.
It doesn’t matter how smart, capable, or self-aware we are. The nervous system doesn’t speak the language of logic. It remembers how it felt to be small, scared, and shamed.
Why This Matters for Creatives and Seekers
If you’re reading this, you’re probably someone who values depth. You think carefully. You feel deeply. You want your life to mean something.
But these gifts can feel like burdens when the fear of being wrong is always humming beneath the surface. It can show up as:
Perfectionism: If I just get it right, I’ll be safe.
People-pleasing: If I’m not pleasing, I’ll be punished.
Overthinking: If I anticipate every possible mistake, I can prevent rejection.
Creative blocks: If I don’t try, I can’t fail.
It’s tender, isn’t it? But here’s the truth:
You are not wrong.
You are growing. You are learning. You are allowed to take up space—even in imperfection.
What Helps Us Heal
We don’t heal this overnight. But we can begin softening it. We can start by recognizing that shame isn’t the truth—it’s a story we inherited. And stories can be rewritten.
A few gentle practices to begin:
Notice the voice. When you feel triggered or ashamed, pause. Ask: Whose voice is this? Is it mine—or something I absorbed long ago?
Speak to yourself with compassion. Try placing a hand on your heart and saying: Even this is allowed. I am still worthy.
Name the old belief. Write down the message you received (“I’m only lovable when I get it right”)—and then write a new one beside it (“I am loved even when I make mistakes”).
For Deeper Healing
In private 1:1 sessions, we often use Heart Metta™, my energy-based healing modality, to work with core wounds like this one. It’s gentle but profound—helping the body and nervous system release these old imprints, so the heart can return to truth and self-trust.
I didn’t include the Heart Metta portion from the group session—because that part was private. But know this: you are not alone. And this kind of healing is possible.
If this resonates, and you’d like to explore it further, I invite you to:
Join us as a member of Group Coaching—where we dive into real-time transformation, community support, and deeper work together.
Book an Introductory 1:1 session for more personal guidance and Heart Metta healing.
Your Turn
Take a moment to reflect:
Where in your life do you still fear being wrong?
What part of you learned that mistakes meant something about your worth?
What might shift if you started believing: I can be wrong and still be worthy?
Write it down. Breathe into it. Be gentle with yourself.
You’re not broken. You’re remembering your wholeness.
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